• ROSWELL GRINDS ON
• MISCELLANEOUS RAVINGS
• NEWS BRIEFIES
• LETTRES TO YE OLDE EDITOR

Here is a (to us) very interesting Web rant by Mac Tonnies, who is listed as #3 in Paul Kimball's "Ufology's Generation NOW" posting. Tonnies is described as a "well-known and highly respected personage in the paranormal community." Sayeth he:

"I tend to think the Cryptoterrestrial Hypothesis (CTH) is the possible 'unified field theory' of the paranormal. I think it ties together a lot of seemingly disparate aspects of encounters with non-human beings that have surfaced throughout the last sixty years. In that time period we've tended to interpret flying saucers and UFOs and strange lights in the sky as alien technology - and by 'alien', people think of extraterrestrials, beings from other planets, other solar systems.

"In contrast, the cryptoterrestrial idea posits that we're dealing with an indigenous species that's been with us for a long time. It's not necessarily paranormal, it's simply that they are here - possibly nomadic, extremely stealthy and crafty in how they portray themselves. Their image is everything. They seem to adapt to our expectations of what a superior intelligence will be. The airship sightings of the 1890s could very well be evidence of an indigenous intelligence adapting to our ideas of what a more technologically robust civilization would possess, in that case airships.

"Of course, now we're dealing with apparent spacecraft - vehicles that supposedly originate from distant planets. I think a lot of these things are diversions. I think some of these devices are basically props, kind of like a high-tech disinformation campaign being dished out on us by an intelligence that would like us to think that it's from outer space, but in fact hails from much closer to home, and this is a way of throwing us off the scent."

Tonnies is to be one of the main speakers at a UFO conference Kimball is sponsoring in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, where he (Kimball) lives. This will take place on October 14th. Other speakers will be announced later.

The rant on Page One was supposed to have a grandiose title, which we accidentally omitted. The grandiose title is: "The 'Cryptoterrestrial Hypothesis (CTH)', a Strange New Term Trying to Solve a Very Old Mystery".

We feel that it is a really thought-provoking rant. Tonnies has said what we are trying to say, but he says it better. (Education is a wonderful thing!)

Anyhow, our next tidbit is:

The precise date of the "Roswell Incident" is still in dispute, but it is close enough to July 4th weekend to make it reasonable to combine the Saucer Festival with the local Independence Day celebration. However, this year there was trouble, as a local Christian church decided to have their own separate fireworks display on Saturday night, which might subtract from the Festival's attendance. Julie Shuster, director of the International UFO Museum, tried to persuade the mayor to recind the church's fireworks permit, but to no avail!

About a month later, your humble "Smear" editor phoned Julie to find out how the Festival's attendance compared to last year's. She stated that "these figures are not yet available" and didn't know when they will be. (Perhaps the figures are Classified?)

Julie Shuster is unhappy at us for consorting with Dave Swink, a retired Roswell citizen who used to be a volunteer at the Museum, and now has become a frequent critic. It is fair to say that Julie, though definitely not a "team player" in her relationship with local Roswell officials, is nevertheless an energetic worker for the Cause - i.e., the financial health of the Museum. Way to go, Julie!....

We have another Roswell item, which we find to be hilarious. It is dated July 18th, long after the Festival, and for some reason it is very short indeed. The full text is:

"Being abducted by space aliens wasn't the biggest part of Ariana Ash's Sunday. After she was rescued by boyfriend Ross Savedra, he popped the question. Of course, it was all part of a plan. When Ash and Savedra toured the UFO Museum in Roswell, N.M., he arranged for masked aliens to snatch her. The aliens were actually Ash's brother-in-law and stepfather. Even the tourists were in on the act. They tossed shiny confetti and applauded when Ash said 'yes'".

This article does not tell us whether Museum officials were in on the joke, but we have another slightly longer version of the same incident that makes it clear that Julie Shuster was (groan!) indeed involved. Sex and Saucers, once again!

• Three issues back we printed a short item about our somewhat mysterious Moon. Now another Net item reviews "Who Built the Moon?", a new book by Christopher Knight and Alan Butler.

  According to these guys, the Moon does not have a solid core like every other planetary object, It must either be hollow or have a very low-density interior. It also behaves in a way that is "nothing less than miraculous". It is exactly four hundred times smaller than the Sun, but four hundred times closer to the Earth, so that both the Sun and the Moon appear to be exactly the same size in the sky. While we take this for granted, it has been called the biggest coincidence in the universe!

  Furthermore, the Moon mirrors the movement of the Sun in the sky by rising and setting at the same point on the horizon as the Sun does at the opposite solstices. For example, this means the Moon rises at midwinter at the same place the Sun does in midsummer. There is no logical reason why the Moon mimics the Sun in this way, and it is only meaningful to a human standing on the Earth.

  The authors' conclusion is that there are more than enough anomalies about the Moon to suggest it is not a naturally-occurring body and was quite possibly engineered to sustain life on Earth. According to them, if the Moon was not exactly the size, mass, and distance that it has been at each stage of the Earth's evolution, there would be no intelligent life here. Without our Moon the Earth would be as dead and solid as Venus!....

• Bad Blood between UFO guru Whitley Strieber and the MUFON hierarchy: As reported in the June 5th "Smear", an Australian ufologist named Warren Aston claimed, in a letter printed in the May 2006 MUFON Journal, that Strieber's wife Anne once confessed to various Australian researchers that everything Whitley has written about UFOs is fiction (like his previous books). In the following (June 30th) "Smear", we commented that this accusation is very unlikely to be true, as the Striebers appear to work harmoniously together in their ufological activities.

  Now in the August issue of "UFO Magazine", Strieber states his extreme annoyance at the accusation, and he is apparently also very annoyed at MUFON's tendency to fit the whole alien phenomenon into a framework of a strictly 3-D "nuts and bolts" visitation from other planets. He thinks that the phenomenon is more complex than that, and we agree with him to that extent.

  Says Strieber: "MUFON has done an awful lot to hurt this whole process of coming to understand and interact in some useful way to us with whatever is out there. They have done a lot to hurt it from the beginning."

  To which MUFON czar John Schuessler replies: "I never attacked Whitley. If Whitley needs an argument to become popular, let him say what he pleases. MUFON is not into this game. We've pushed his books in the past. We cooperated with him so he could write the book 'Best Evidence'. Our mission is only to investigate cases. That's it. I am sorry about the letter in the MUFON Journal. I didn't like it. But, I don't control the Journal. I wish Whitley the best of luck on his (new) book 'The Grays'. I hope he does more good work."

  Confusion is added by the fact that Strieber's latest book "The Grays" is admittedly "truth disguised as fiction", whatever that means.

  Our general opinion of Whitley Strieber is that he is either (a) lying, (b) telling the truth; (c) crazy (d) a complex combination of all of the above. We have met him several times, and he seems to be sincere....

  And, speaking of MUFON czar John Schuessler, he and his wife Kathy will be retiring at the end of this year, though he will not leave the organization completely. The new ruler will be James Carrion, whom we do not know at all.

  After November 1st, the new MUFON address will be the same as Carrion's, which is: P.O. Box 279, Bellvue, Colorado 80512-0279. - Phone: 970-221-1836. Until Nov. 1st, the MUFON address will remain the same as it is now.

  Regarding Schuessler, the only thing we ever had against him was his refusal, years ago, to release the medical records of Betty Cash, one of the injured witnesses in the classic Cash-Landrum UFO case of 1980. Had it been possible to compare Betty's health before and after the incident, we might have had proof that she really was physically harmed by the UFO encounter. Even after Betty's eventual death, Schuessler remained firm in his refusal, for some unknown reason. (At your left, we have an ad for his book on this fascinating subject)...

• Since July 1st, a Falls Church, Virginia man named Rick Wood has been hosting the most widely syndicated skeptical radio talk show in the world - or so we are told in a recent article from that little town's newspaper. 350 stations nation-wide now carry this program, which was much more limited in listenership until recently.

  Rick Wood is sponsored by the dreaded Committee for the Scientific Investigation of the Paranormal (CSICOP), the organization which nurtured such skeptical icons as James Randi and the late Phil Klass. The aim of the show is to have various stripes of "Believers" as guests, and then politely rip them apart!

  Wood follows the CSICOP discipline religiously, as he brags about having no open mind in regard to anything "supernatural" including god. To us, this is as ridiculous as a radio show like Art Bell / George Noory that purports to seriously consider all paranormal claims, no matter how far-out they may be. We of "Smear" believe in moderate extremism, or extreme moderation, or whatever.

  Wood says he wants to "debunk paranormal myths and help his guests think more rationally". This is an arrogant, condescending attitude. Most of his guests are likely to think even less rationally after being on the program! Your editor does not listen to radio programs (no radio!), so we are not likely to hear this one, except maybe through the miracle of Remote Hearing (RH)...

• Crop circles are still a-round, and the most exciting recent story involves an English farmer who was actually attacked by a crowd of over one hundred people who had come to see a "near-perfect" circle on his farm. When the farmer asked the crowd to leave, he was assaulted. No details are given...

  Then there's the world's first "3-D" circle, also found somewhere in England (pictured right). It is an amazing 360 feet in diameter. A veteran crop circle photographer proclaims: "The floor lay and the way the design appears to weave in and out has never been seen before... The move from a two-dimensional square to a three-dimensional cube might indicate that these patterns emanate from a dimension of reality we cannot access." Yet in general, the crop circle season in England has been the slowest in more than ten years, for some reason.

  Regarding the "3-D" circle, one man deflated it by claiming that a team of about 20 people could create the design and lay it out on the ground in just a few hours. Others strongly disagree. Another man noted that whereas alien visitations are an almost exclusively American phenomenon, Britain continues to have a near-monopoly on crop circles...

  The monopoly is not complete, however. An obscure area of Hungary was recently host to "a giant set of crop circles". It is far from any roads and hard to spot, but the mystery is perhaps lightened by the fact that the "26th National Sci-Fi Convention" was taking place elsewhere in Hungary at almost the same exact time! This convention is somehow combined with the "League of Hungarian UFO Research"...

• ALL THE ABOVE ITEMS and many others in this issue are thanks to our intrepid Con- tributing Editor, Vince Ditchkus. May the Space Brothers indeed bless him!...

• Sixty years ago this summer, something really scary happened on Clearwater (Florida) Beach. Apparently some kind of Monster came out of the Gulf of Mexico and wandered around in the dark, leaving lots of very peculiar tracks in the sand. Thereafter, similar incidents occurred on other nearby beaches, throughout the summer. There was much publicity and amazement. The legendary Ivan Sanderson, a very well-known zoologist (whom we knew), came to one of the sites and proclaimed that this was "definitely not a hoax". His theory was that it was a giant penguin!

  Actually, it was a local fellow named Tony Signorini and his boss Al Williams. They used molded boots filled with lead, to make deep impressions in the sand. They left no tracks of their own because they came to and left the shoreline by boat.

  It's now sixty years later. Al Williams has died, and Tony Signorini is old and fee- ble. But he still has the weird boots. He and his friend never got caught, and it is not clear why he chose to confess now, after so much time.

• As mentioned in our last issue, there will not be a NUFOC (National UFO Conference) this year, for the first time since the organization was founded in 1964.

  Lisa Davis (the Executive Director) never told us directly, but she put out a state- ment on the Net to the effect that she was unable to get her act together for a conference in 2006. She hopes to have one in Phoenix, Arizona in the Spring of 2007, but we won't hold our breath for that!

  This Phoenix convention will be devoted to the topic of abductions. It is not clear whether Lisa herself is an abductee or not.

  Anyhow, we are very disappointed...

• Our Friend Chris Roth has kindly sent us a very recent review of our epic book, with Karl Pflock, called "Shockingly Close to the Truth! Confessions of a Grave-Robbing Ufologist" (Prometheus Books, 2002). The review is by Kenn Thomas of the Steamshovel Press. We don't know why it took him so long to get around to it, but he has written a long and basically favorable rant. It can apparently be found at: http://paranoiamagazine.com/closetotruth.html.

• Hopefully, many of you remember the Raelian cult, founded by a French-Canadian named Claude Vorihon, who claims to have been contacted by a UFO in 1973, and to have had various intense ufological experiences thereafter. Now a Raelian family in Colombia, South America has built a flying saucer landing strip on their ranch, to offer hospitality to any extraterrestrials wishing to visit them.

  Oscar Orozco and his family have had trouble with their neighbors about this, not only because of their saucerian beliefs, but also because the family "is wont to wander naked around their property". According to this article, the neighbors threatened on two occasions to lynch them, and called the local Authorities. But, "in the end, the scandal was taking place within our own property". So apparently they were not prosecuted.

  According to Raelian belief, humanity was created by aliens 25 million years ago when they visited Earth and set off evolution by means of DNA. Raelians are athiests, and science is their only religion. They also believe in "sexual tolerence", which includes all sorts of interesting behavior. (Thanks to UFO Newsclipping Service)...

• An interesting Web article explains that SETI's search for extraterrestrial life has not been nearly as thorough as the public believes. In reality, only a few radio telescopes worldwide are involved in the project, and even these do not devote more than a small percentage of their time to it. Thus the public's concept of "nearly fifty years without results" is inaccurate. There's still a lot of sky left to check out!...

• Bigfoot lives on, at least in our hearts! We caught an exceedingly brief news item on TV, on July 29th, telling of a sighting by two teens somewhere in California. It men- tioned that one woman came down with an "anxiety attack" upon seeing the creature. There was also a short glimpse of a photo that was totally unlike any Bigfoot picture we have ever seen before!...

  Then there is an impending legal battle between a "world renowned Bigfoot researcher" named Thomas Biscardi, and the Great American Bigfoot Research Association. Biscardi is suing for a quarter of a million dollars, mainly for the return of his library consisting of plaster footprint casts, films, and sound recordings.

  While the lawsuit is going on, Biscardi is on an expedition near Paris, Texas, where he excitedly claims to have seen the creature again, for the sixth time in his life. He says he has found a spot that looks like "Jurassic Park", and that the Bigfoot image was captured on TV. Could this involve the crazy-looking creature we saw on TV, as mentioned above? Only Time will Tell...

• The age-old but so far fruitless hunt for Scotland's Loch Ness Monster has received a technological boost. There is now a webcamera installed at the bottom of the Scotish lake, and it feeds pictures over the Internet. Nessie enthusiasts will be able to hunt for the elusive creature from the comfort of their desktops. Pictures from the underwater camera, designed to accompany pictures from another camera installed on the banks of the loch last year, can be viewed at www.lochness.scotland.net.

  This article reminds us that the first recorded sighting of Nessie was by the venerable Saint Columba, in the year 565 A.D. As far as we can recall from previous write-ups, Nessie was more aggressive & frightening then than he/she has been in recent years...

• Finally, on August 16th the TV news informed us that Science is seriously consider- ing changing the number of planets in our solar system from 9 to 12. This is of special interest to us, because the late, great contactee Ceorge Adamski told us many years ago that 12 is the right number, (i.e., a somewhat mystic number, like 12 apostles, 12 months in the year, etc.)

  The only problem is that Adamski claimed they are all inhabited, by beings who are spiritually advanced and who look very much like earthlings. In reality, there is prob- ably no intelligent life in the solar system except here on Earth. Oh well, George almost got it right. Wheee!

• Researcher CURT SUTHERLY writes:

  "I just wanted to take a moment to say how sorry I was to learn of the death of Karl Pflock. I didn't know him all that well, having actually spoken with him on only a few occasions, but I did like the man and greatly admired his tenacity and work ethic. His tremendous effort in helping you compile your book and his determination to try and sort truth from fiction in the Roswell mess were impressive, as was his writing skill. Karl was, I believe, a decent and honest man, and I say this despite the negative attitude some had toward him because of his CIA background. He deserved a longer life, and sadly he did not have that..."

• The semi-mysterious JOHN BARLOW writes:

  "...The death of Karl Pflock is very sad and a reminder of how glad I am that you're still here and putting out 'Smear' as well. I'm sure Karl's death brings your own death very close to your doorstep. I can only hope that you can find another friend as good as he was. I thought your admission that you live a 'lonely, solitary life' took a small amount of courage. I'm afraid that since the 1950s this culture has come to worship youth. This means that as you age you become invisible...

  "I loved Dr./Rev. Frank Stranges' note on his 'forthcoming' movie. No mention of un- important stuff like a script or director or studio. I'm glad he has 25 million dollars worth of cinematic dreams, but come on, already! I shouldn't make fun, because Frank is a terrific speaker with a strong voice and his 'Stranger at the Pentagon' book is a wonderful time capsule. It might even be true!..."

• And, KEVIN HENDERSON writes:

  "Karl Pflock's book on Roswell wil]1 be read by future generations, long after the con artists and museum docents of the Myth are history. His 'Tales of Kaufmann' is a comic- tragic masterpiece. His untimely death is an inestimable loss to an already impoverished "ufology"...

  "Ralph Coon is spinning his wacky wheel pointlessly. His sad-sack 'why can't we be friends' attitude, and dredging up Gray Barker's corpse (which to me gives his non-altruistic game away), do little to further his case. The facts are clear. Having seen the premier of his film 'Whispers from Space' in San Francisco (I remember a nonplussed Ralph grinning to himself as disappointed viewers left the theatre), I can surmise the unanimous opinion of everyone I know who has seen it! Many parts were hilarious, but the last 20 minutes or so should have been cut, and the whole thing needed the judicious hand of an editor. But Coon won't have it. Instead of listening to the truth and learning from it, he'd rather bitch at you - without whom he wouldn't have had a film!

  "Yours eternally in non-subscription. Thank you for your presence on this insane Earth!"

• BOB WILKINSON of West Virginia, who is working on an entirely new Barker documentary, writes as follows:

  "I met with the West Virginia Folk Life Center a couple of weeks ago. They are going to partner with me on the documentary. I needed a 501c3 (non-profit) to be able to begin the grant writing process. They will also help lend credibility to the project. Folks with money like that, I guess. We are now writing up a grant for the WV Humanities to get started on the funding. I'm looking at buying some gear next month so I can begin the edit process...

  "That was a curious letter from Mr. Coon that you sent me. On Wednesday July 5th when I returned to the office he had left a message on my phone at work. He was curious about the Barker doc that I'm working on. I e-mailed him and he asked a couple of questions, and I haven't heard back from him. Nothing near as interesting as the letter you received."

  Ralph Coon tells us by phone that it will be about a year before the re-release of the new & improved original Barker documentary, "Whispers from Space". - Editor.

• Researcher CHRIS ROTH writes:

  "Thank you for the latest 'Saucer Smear'. The story about John Lennon and Urt Geller which you recount is also told in Michael Luckman's tabloidish book 'Alien Rocks The Rock 'n' Roll Extraterrestrial Connection'(2005). Lennon also had a more conventional UFO sighting from his apartment terrace in New York City in 1974, and apparently there were other reports of craft sightings that night. The book recounts Lennon's lifelong interest in UFOs. Uri Geller also figures prominently in the book's long section on Michael Jackson. I'm afraid no one comes off as sounding terribly levelheaded in Luckman's whole book, but it certainly is a comprehensive survey of its topic. (Not enough footnotes, though.)

  "...One other point: In reply to Tony Loredo's missive, asking what will happen to 'Smear' when your time on Earth has passed, you reply with what Karl Pflock felt about it - that he had considered assuming the mantle himself but changed his mind on the grounds of your irreplacibility - but you don't say what you think about it.'"

  Sadly, we don't know of anyone with the desire and the ability to continue "Saucer Smear" on into the indefinite future. - Editor.

• Long-time flying saucer researcher GENE STEINBERG wrttes:

  "I noticed a curious item in your latest issue of 'Smear', in which you state, 'No one has ever properly explained how Billy Meier takes his UFO photos - especially having one arm' Weird''

  "No, Jim, it's not weird. In fact, his photos have been exposed as frauds over and over again through the years. Unfortunately the Meier cult, which includes Michael Horn, the American representative, doesn't want to admit any of this.

  "For example, we had Horn on our radio show, 'The Paracast' (at www.theparacast.com) twice. On the second show, my co-host David Biedny, a noted expert in digital media, gave Horn an analysis of one of the Meier photos. The analysis...demonstrated that the picture was made via a composite, by superimposing two negatives in an enlarger.

  "David and I gave Horn every opportunity to respond, but he refused! He kept changing the subject, or talked about other photos that had nothing to do with David's analysis."

  Your humble editor has been on Gene Steinberg's Internet radio show twice recently, by telephone. - Editor.

• Ace parapsychologist GEORGE HANSEN writes.

  "Last week I was summoned for jury duty. My name was drawn as an alternate juror, and I was asked to step into the jury box for questioning. The judge asked what magazines and newspapers I read, and I listed them including 'Saucer Smear', of course.

  "The court reporter apparently wasn't familiar with your zine, and asked me to repeat the name. This provoked some titters in the room. Not long thereafter, the prosecutor had me dismissed.

  "It was a drug case, and I can only wonder whether the reputation of our supreme com- mander is known to the district attorney's office in Trenton, New Jersey."

  No comment! - Editor.

• Our "Inside Man" in Roswell, N.M., DAVE SWINK, writes as follows:

  "...Too bad that Lisa Davis couldn't handle this year's NUFOC convention. It sure does break the chain of continuity for the event. I now have no confidence in the event happen- ing again. Too bad! - I continue to love your newsletter, and your efforts to keep up with current events. Thanks!..."

• Ace cartoonist MATT GRAEBER writes:

  "I had an idea for 'Smear' which I'd like to run by you. It is simply this: Pub- lish one or more cartoons in 'Smear', without captions, and have your readers submit their own captions for the 'toons. It might make for some very strange, interesting, and comical responses.

  "Of course, each reply could be briefly commented upon in your own witty and pithy style. You might even offer a silly prize of some sort for the winning caption - such as a Rand McNally road map without Roswell, New Mexico on it. Of course, the prize may be 'mysteriously' snatched by MIBs who break into 'Smear' Headquarters on the very day that you are about to mail it to the contest winner.

  "You already have a number of my 'toons which you can use, or you might even 'borrow' something from Gary Larson's classic 'Far Side' series. Use the idea as a 'space filler', and see what the response to it is like. It might be some real fun, especially with you as the contest judge."

  Okay, gang! Let's go for it, and see where this leads. Send us captions for the two Graeber cartoons below, and we will take it from there. Your proze will be the satisfaction of knowing that you are (in your own mind at least) a creative genius! Results will be dis- cussed in our next issue. - Editor.

  

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