We welcome your correspondence, pro or con, well-reasoned or otherwise, but please keep in mind that while Saucer Smear is on the Dreaded Internet, your humble editor is NOT! So, if you wish to receive a personal reply to your letter, or wish to have any chance of seeing it printed on Our Glorious Pages, please print it out, put it in an envelope, affix a stamp thereto, and SNAIL mail it to: James W. Moseley P.O. Box 1709 Key West, FL 33041 It's simple and loads of fun! Ask your grandma if you don't remember how to do it! We thank you!

• TIDBITS OF TRASH
• "SMEAR" EDITOR SHAMEFULLY TAKEN IN BY CRUEL INTERNET HOAX!
• MORE TIDBITS OF TRASH
• BRIEF BOOK REVIEW
• Pflock Ptalk - THE END IS NIGH, SIGH...
• LETTERS TO YE OLDE EDITOR

OOnce again we remind you about the glorious forthcoming 40th National UFO Conferference, scheduled for the weekend of September 6th and 7th at the Beverly Garland Hotel in North Hollywood, California. Speakers include Brian Boldman, Bob Wood of MJ-12 fame, Ann Druffel, and several others including your humble "Smear" editor.

Host(ess) of the event is Ann Druffel, who is the author of a brand new book called "Firestorm - Dr. James E. McDonald's Fight for UFO Science". Here is the definitive work on this important scientist who died in 1971. This book has just been reviewed favorably by several flying saucer zines, but we have not yet seen a copy. (Hint!)

Ann is also the author of countless UFO articles, and her most recent book before this one was called "How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction". We have not actually read it, as the Aliens have always been kind enough to leave your "Smear" editor alone, and that's the way we like it!

We hope to see a lot of our readers at the 40th NUFOC, which may be the last in the series. Contact Ann Druffel at 257 Sycamore Glen, Pasadena, CA 91105-1350; or on the (cursed) Net: anndruffel@aol.com.

• The lead story in the May issue of the MUFON UFO Journal brings us still another new (although dead) Roswell witness. The 84-year-old widow of Sergeant Ernest Robbins is now saying that her late husband, though a mere sheet metal repairman, was called out to observe the wreckage of the famed Roswell saucer, in early July of 1947. His version, as told to her, gives us three aliens - one dead, one injured, and one who "seemed to be okay". These numbers differ from all other accounts.

  Most interestingly, the saucer left behind a large burned area in the shape of a perfect circle. This sets your editor to recalling how, circa 1955, he used gasoline to burn a circle on the surface of the desert near Lima, Peru. A photo of said editor pointing to said circle was thereafter printed on the front page of a mass-circulation Lima newspaper called "Ultima Hora". This leads us to speculate that real UFOs don't leave burned circles behind. Case dismissed!

• Sex and Saucers, Again: An article in the June/July issue of UFO Magazine informs us that a group of Raelian women "humbly disrobed publicly" at anti-war demonstrations in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., held last March 8th and 9th. A Raelian official stated, "There was a lot of interest from the media and also from the general public. Unfortunately, most people were more interested in getting pictures of half-naked girls, but that was not really our goal, which was...to protest against the war."

  "Smear" readers will recall that the leader of the Raelian cult claims to have been abducted twice by aliens, many years ago. Recently the Raelians claimed to have produced the first human cloned baby, but they were never able to prove this, and the whole matter ended up as a fiasco. Now this group is talking about constructing the first artificial womb, and eventually producing completely artificial human beings. We don't think it's immoral, but it definitely is highly unlikely, at least in the foreseeable future...

• Whereas most ufologists believe that the Government is desperately trying to cover up the existence of interplanetary flying saucers, there has always been an equally paranoid minority who feel the Government is trying to promote said belief! One gentleman in the second category has just written a book called "The Great UFO HOAX: The Final Solution to the UFO Mystery". His name is Gregory Kanon, and the publisher is Galde Press of P.O. Box 460, Lakeville, Mo. 35044. (Phyllis Galde is also editor and publisher of Fate Magazine.)

  Quoting from the ad for this book: "...Kanon reveals a high-stakes game played by certain segments of government and industry to perpetuate a hoax on the American public. In an effort to cover up mind control and genetics experiments performed on ordinary citizens as well as new secret weapons, it became vital to convince people that UFOs were vehicles from other worlds. Kanon draws on years of annotated research and accumulated evidence to demonstrate how this deception has been carried out. But most importantly, he explains why the perpetuation of this fraud has become so vitally important to a secret elite within our government..."

  How many times over the years have we heard of "The Final Solution" regarding the saucer mystery! But so far, none of them have really been final or anywhere close to it, and we doubt if this one is, either. However, we would love to see a (free) review copy of this book!...

• Wild Things continue to happen in South America, according to translations from Spanish that are printed in "UFO Newsclipping Service". Just like "Smear", this zine does not stick strictly to flying saucers (or its pages would be mostly blank!)

  The Wildest Thing in the current (May) issue concerns a fantastic creature that was seen by an entire family at a municipal garbage dump near Salta, Argentina. Says the main witness: "Less than ten meters away was this very tall hairy animal that people have reported, standing on two legs. It was like an enormous monkey. It made no noise, but just looked at me fixedly with red eyes, and every so often it moved its powerful arms to frighten my dogs, who were harrassing but not attacking it. The beast...had nails as long as daggers, which shined in the light .... Suddenly it turned on its heel and began to walk away. It was an animal, but it walked like a man."

  The above is from a newspaper dated Feb. 28th, 2003. The March 7th edition of the same paper tells of au official hunt for this animal, which is said to have been seen at different times by numerous eyewitnesses, some of whom were attacked. A judge ordered a complete investigation, which was then carried out. All the known witnesses were interviewed, physical traces were investigated, and at least fourteen men were sent out on different patrols, to track the creature down. Apparently it has not yet been caught...

• Our profound and sincere thanks to England's "Fortean Times" for not complaining about our frequent use of selected "Sidelines" from their fine newsstand magazine. Your editor has spoken twice at their annual conventions in London, and believe us when we tell you they are a fine bunch. No American offbeat zine comes even close to rivaling "Fortean Times"...

• We have some new info on the classic Dec. 29th, 1980 Cash-Landrum UFO sighting, in which three people driving on a lonely country road in eastern Texas saw a fiery object come down very low and cause all three of them to receive radiation (?) burns to a greater or lesser extent. As many as 23 helicopters were also seen, associated with the mystery object. Most of our "Smear" readers are already familiar with this classic case, which was investigated by John Schuessler of MUFON, among others.

  There are three elements to this story: The mystery object, the injury to the people in the car, and the helicopters. It is only in regard to the latter that we have new info: A British researcher named James Easton has learned that during that period in 1980, a highly secret helicopter rescue force was training in that part of Texas. This was related to the failed attempt to rescue American hostages in Iran, earlier in 1980. A group called Task Force 158, or TF158, sought to perfect their skills through training exercises, and this was apparently done without the knowledge of any of the military bases that have been contacted, and which have denied that their helicopters were involved in the Cash-Landrum case. Or, TF158 may have just been too secret to admit to, even after all this time.

  The upshot is that we now know the helicopters existed, but the rest of the case remains unsolved. As we have stated before, Schuessler could help with the medical aspects of the solution, but he chooses not to. (Long story there.) ...

• Amazingly, we also have an update of sorts on the classic April 24th, 1964 incident in Socorro, New Mexico, in which a police officer named Lonnie Zamora interacted with a very loud flying saucer that landed briefly near the town. Researcher Miller Johnson of Albuquerque has sent us copies of three contemporary newspaper clippings, in which other similar sightings are described in Socorro and relatively nearby towns. In other words, it appears that over a period of about three days, there was a mini-flap in that part of the state, with named witnesses. Yet cynics like Phil Klass insist that there were no other witnesses, and that the whole thing therefore rests on Zamora's unsupported word. What a ity that it is now too late, for all practical purposes, to reinvestigate this case!...

As if this were not weird enough, the incident allegedly occurred in Iowa, over a small area known as the dreaded "Putnam Parallelogram". Although this is an obvious take-off on the famed Bermuda Triangle, we tried to believe the text that follows:

"In Fayette County, near the town of Putnam, there is a section of rural farmland bordered by four county roads that has been called the 'Putnam Parallelogram'. This area occupies a disturbing and almost unbelievable place in Iowa's catalog of unexplained mysteries. More than eighty farm vehicles, cars, trucks, and small airplanes have literally vanished into thin air since 1943. More than 700 lives have been lost over the last twenty-six years alone, without a single body or even a piece of wreckage having been found.

"Disappearances continue to occur with apparently increasing frequency, despite the fact that today's roadways are more traveled, searches are more thorough, and records are more carefully kept."

This all checked out, except that there is no town of Putnam in Fayette County or anywhere else, and thus there is no Putnam Parallelogram - period. Meanwhile, our informant apparently had done his own investigation, and by coincidence, the very next day after we made the above-mentioned discovery, we received from him the following postcard:

"The Putnam Parallelogram was exposed as fiction last year by ace UFO investigator & reporter Linde Moulton Howe. Whitley Strieber put the story on his web site, but quickly accepted Howe's exposure of the ruse. Apparently, it started as a play in an Iowa tome, then went to the Internet, where it is still playing. I'm sure the author would like you to play with it, too!"

So the mystery is solved, for our informant and for us. If this story is too wild for Linda Moulton Cowe, ufology's most gullible researcher, and for Whitley Strieber, who isn't far behind her, then we will henceforth list this case as SOLVED!...

• Strange goings-on at the International UFO Museum at Roswell, N.M. Dave Swink, a volunteer who arranged our lecture there at last year's annual Festival, has resigned (or been fired) in a dispute with Julie Shuster, who is the Museum's director and also a daughter of co-founder Walter Haut. Future speakers must be approved by the Board, which includes Don Schmitt (former partner of Kevin Randle) and Stanton Friedman. George Fawcett, who has donated many thousands of dollars worth of material to the Museum, is also in the dog-house because of a disagreement with Julie.

  The International UFO Museum reached its peak of influence & prosperity in 1997, which was the fiftieth anniversary of the Roswell Incident. During that period, there was a vast amount of free publicity from all over the nation. Now the speakers program has been cut down from monthly to quarterly. However, there will still be a Festival of sorts around July 4th of this year, which is now the 36th anniversary of the Roswell Incident. (See also the photo in the letters section of this issue.)...

• Erich von Daniken's UFO-oriented Mystery Park in Switzerland is finally open to the public, and appears to be doing very well. It was built on a comparatively modest budget of forty million British pounds, and does not have expensive special effects or sophisticated interactive computer programs. Nevertheless, visitors have been flocking to this place, which is set in an unused airfield near Interlaken in the Swiss Alps.

  Von Daniken, as most of you know, is the author of "Chariots of the Gods" and other best-selling books expressing his radical views on archaeology. Says he: "The great mysteries of the world exist on all five continents, but only a few people have the time and money to travel to them." He explains that the idea of the park was to group models of these wonders in one area for convenience. Mystery Park looks like a spaceship stranded in the Alps. It is divided into seven themed pavilions, each presenting one of the major mysteries of the world.

  One pavilion, called "MegaStones", describes England's famed Stonehenge as time machine for high priests."

  A real scientist from the International Space Science Institute in the Swiss capital of Berne, described the park as follows: "It's a theme park, so it's fun. But no one is going to learn anything there."...

• England's latest "Fortean Times", for June, 2003 (#171), has a group of articles by and about a man named Guy Playfair (odd name!), who is the author of a new book called "Twin Telepathy". We realize that this is a far cry from flying saucers, but it's nevertheless a fascinating and largely overlooked aspect of the offbeat!

  We were intrigued that the cover of the magazine has a photograph of two girls, unnamed, who appear to be female (presumably) identical twins somewhere around the age of puberty. As mentioned in the last "Smear", these are the people most likely to have a psychic link of some sort, though it works with a percentage of all twins, and probably to a lesser extent with members of the general population who for some reason have an unusually strong bond between them.

  In a series of controlled experiments, one identical twin was attached to a polygraph machine, to show his/her reactions to mild shocks and surprises given to the other twin in an isolated room. According to the account in the magazine, the correlation was almost perfect. Remember that though the polygraph has been questioned (quite rightly) as to its ability to detect deception (= lies), the above use of the machine does not involve interpretation of any kind. Thus the results should be beyond argument.

  There is a reasonable theory as to why this works, and it does not involve the "supernatural". It's all in the realm of quantum physics - results at a distance - which have already been proven on a sub-atomic level. The famed physicist Albert Einstein called this "spooky effects at a distance", and he feared & hated quantum physics. But no one is perfect!

  We suggest that Playfair, in the interests of fair play, march a few of his sets of identical twins down to James Randi's Foundation here in Plantation, Florida, and go for that million dollar prize for proof of the paranormal. Randi would certainly wiggle out of it somehow, but how??

  P.S: Identical twins are few and far between, but we recently met a pair who live just two blocks from our Key West abode. They are charming 17-year-old girls who unfortunately have little or no interest in telepathy. We tested them in guessing cards beamed from one to the other, but they showed no special ability whatever, which was disappointing though not unexpected. Only about 30% to 35% of identical twins seem to have a psychic bond, according to Playfair...

• Researcher Tom Benson has kindly passed on to us the outline for the following story (and many others): Entitled "Unique UFO Archives Hidden in Warehouse". This Web posting discusses the semi-disappearance of the vast flying saucer files that once belonged to the organization called APRO (Aerial Phenomena Research Organization).

  APRO was founded by Coral and Jim Lorenzen back in 1952, making it one of the very first UFO organizations in this country. (Our own entity, called S.A.U.C.E.R.S., was founded in 1954, as was our magazine.)

  It was Coral who ran the show in APRO. We knew her slightly, and she was an extremely opinionated woman who made many enemies in the Field. We are not aware of her scientific training, if any. Yet, for over two decades she published a very fine zine, from southern Arizona in the later years, using highly-educated contacts around the world- especially in South America. We passed many foreign-language clippings on to APRO from an international press clipping service we subscribed to in those days, and we received absolutely no thanks for doing so. Coral disliked your editor because of our friendship with Gray Barker, whom she correctly perceived as being homosexual.

  In 1984, Er. J. Allen Hynek moved to Scottsdale, Arizona, partly to be near two rather crackpotish researchers named Brian Myers and Tina Choate. He soon broke off with them completely. We know very little about this couple, but they apparently were the managers of APR0 for awhile, before Coral Lorenzen's death in 1988. (Hynek died in 1986)

  After Coral's death, it was believed that the files would go to a group named CUFOS (Center for UFO Studies), which still exists, though barely. No thought was given to letting the files go to MUFON (Mutual UFO Network), founded circa 1970, because Coral hated International Director Walt Andrus for having broken off from APR0 to start a rival group.

  Ultimately, these valuable files, consisting of over 13,000 sighting reports, ended up in the hands of Myers and Choate, who, for reasons that the article does not explain, kept the material in storage indefinitely. They have refused cash offers, and in almost all cases they have refused, to let visiting researchers even look at the material. And that's how the situation still stands today!

  Something should surely be done about this, though we don't know what it might be.

The book concerns a long-forgotten incident on Feb. 25th, 1942 - a few weeks after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor which plunged the United States into World War II. Shockingly, the date of Pearl Harbor is given on the back cover as Dec. 7th, 1942, instead of 1941. This is the most glaring error we have found in our brief survey of the book.

In the weeks following Pearl Harbor, the West Coast experienced several "blackouts'. There were also a few submarine attacks, and on Feb. 23rd, 1942, while President Roosevelt was addressing the nation by radio, a large Japanese submarine surfaced and shelled an oil refinery in Santa Barbara, California, near Los Angeles.

Then, in the early morning hours of Feb. 25th, unidentified planes (or UFOs as we might call them today) were seen over Los Angeles itself. Another blackout was ordered, and searchlights scanned the sky. This time, anti-aircraft guns went into action. In the course of the next few hours, these guns fired over 1,400 shells at an unidentified slow moving object in the sky that looked like a blimp or balloon.

By the next day, the incident became clouded in mystery. It was never learned where these objects came from, why none were actually shot down, and why no bombs were dropped. Was it just a case of jittery nerves, or was it something that we simply were incapable of shooting down? The matter was never resolved, and the truth may never be known!

Here at last is an event that, while not likely interplanetary, nevertheless fits loosely into UFO lore. Best of all, it has not been hashed and re-hashed endlessly, like most of the old UFO stories have been. We recommend that you buy this book!

Sadly, it appears Organized Saucerdom is not long for this world, or any other world. I'm not referring to the intrepid band of Serious Ufologists who continue to toil quietly and diligently away. Nuts like us will go on, no matter what. It's the fan-club, affinity-group, convention-holding/attending side of The Field that's about to go the way of the nuts-and-bolts silvery saucer whizzing silently through the sky. The Signs are everywhere - e .g., in the pages of the April "MUFON UFO Journal", as our Esteemed Editor-Publisher/Supreme Commander gleefully highlighted in our last issue.

MUFON and its few remaining lesser ilk here and abroad are going, going, going, and soon to be gone, more's the pity. They and saucercons and suchlike are creaky, rather quaint relics of a simpler, internet-free age, continuing to stumble on, on the waning strength of habitual inertia.

Despite earnest claims to the contrary, these groups arose not so much to do saucer investigations and research, but rather to give saucerers a place to congregate, literally and figuratively - a clubhouse wherein their hopes, ideas, and beliefs could be reaffirmed. The magzines and conventions and symposium proceedings were home to saucerfolk, a place to share, and stroke, and commune, to argue and backbite, to collectively sneer at the debunkers and deliciously quake at the thought that They - the Silence Group/MJ-12/MIB - were watching and actually Cared. It was a venue where saucerers could be reassured they not only were Not Alone but Mattered. Even when they couldn't get to the latest convention or symposium, they were still connected, part of the family. They had their membership cards and 'zines, and their dues kept those who issued them going.

The Internet Age has changed everything, or is close to doing so. Saucerdom is now all but entirely "virtual", an electronic agora of instant communication and gratification. And it's free. No dues, no convention fees, no costly subscriptions. If you're online, you're in. You can rant, rave, insult, debate, blather, and Be Important without having to leave home or change your underwear - or risk a punch in the nose.

No one really needs a MUFON anymore, except those dino-saucerers who fill the grandly titled directorships on the organizational chart. It's a pity. Saucerdom is no longer the colorful carnival it once was. It's also a far less civil realm, now that partisans of this theory or that can hide behind a computer screen and blast away at others doing the same thing.

I doubt even a major sighting flap could bring back the Glory That Was. Instead, it probably would generate zillions of e-missives and postings, filled with awed and self-important pronouncements, not to mention a dozen or so mindless cable-TV "documentaries".

Oh, my. What does this mean for "Smear" and NUFOC? Sigh...

• Noted parapsychologist George Hansen writes:

  "Vampire producer Karl Perry of Metro-Video Production Services, has just announced a new spokesperson for Robert J. Durant's video, 'Roswell? Yes!'

  "The lovely and talented Jasmin will bring the Roswell message to an untapped audience. As you can see, she should generate a lot of excitement for ufoology, which recently has been in the doldrums.

  "Petty and MVPS could certainly teach a thing or two to MUFON, which has no excuse for their lackluster performance in attracting new blood. Maybe MUFON could invite Jasmin to their convention and give her one of their silly jackets!

  "Anyhow, for the Durant video, (or DVD), or for Jasmin, just call Metro-Video at 1-800-694-0320."

  Gosh! Sex and Saucers again! After staring at this picture for awhile, your editor is starting to waver in his formerly firm belief that the Roswell Incident was not extraterrestrial! - Editor.

• ANN DRUFFEL, local sponsor for this year's glorious National UFO Conference, writes as follows:

  "...Jim McDonald deserves better than to be described bluntly as a 'great researcher who killed himself'. My book lays out all the 'coincidents' and strange happenings that preceded his death, and makes a good, objective case to indicate that his depressive state very possibly was brought on by orchestrated events. If you choose to publicize the fact that I'm speaking on Jim McDonald & my book 'Firestorm' at the September NUFOC convention, please don't concentrate on Jim's death, but mention his life. We truly lost someone who was on his way to probably blowing the whole cover-up apart and giving the American public its 'right to know'..."

• Anthropologist & mild saucer enthusiast CHRIS ROTH writes:

  "...Thanks for the enclosure regarding psychic twins. It ms, es sense to me. A Crow Indian woman who lived next door to us in McMinnville, Oregon (in the days before it was a UFO festival site), had something like thirteen children, including I think two sets of twins. One set of twin brothers from this family was so psychically linked that, even separated by years and hundreds of miles, one doubled over in abdominal pain only to learn later that the other had been having acute appendicitis at that moment. Once they got into a fight and were so physically and mentally identical that they were perfectly evenly matched. Each anticipated the other's punches; they simply fought each other to exhaustion, at which point they had exactly symetrical bruises.

  "Then there's Chang and Eng, the original Simese twins, so telepathic that it was pointless for them to play chess!..."

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