We welcome your correspondence, pro or con, well-reasoned or otherwise, but please keep in mind that while Saucer Smear is on the Dreaded Internet, your humble editor is NOT! So, if you wish to receive a personal reply to your letter, or wish to have any chance of seeing it printed on Our Glorious Pages, please print it out, put it in an envelope, affix a stamp thereto, and SNAIL mail it to: James W. Moseley P.O. Box 1709 Key West, FL 33041 It's simple and loads of fun! Ask your grandma if you don't remember how to do it! We thank you!

• FLASH! MUFON HEADQUARTERS UNDER ATTACK!
• TIDBITS OF TRASH
• Pflock Ptalk - LOOSE CANNONS, PART ONE
• BRIEF BIASED BOOK REVIEWS
• MISSIVES FROM THE MASSES

Could this be part of an unbelievably vast conspiracy to shut MUFON down completely?Already their membership has dwindled from a high of over 6,000 to less than half that number, in spite of great efforts by John Schuessler, the new International Director. We're sure that writer/philosopher Robert Anton Wilson would have something pithy to say about this! (See our review of his latest book, further along in this issue.)

• Thanks to the kindness of our Contributing Editor, we have obtained 27 pages of extreme weirdness regarding Utah's "haunted ranch", which was bought a few years back by billionaire Robert Bigelow of NIDS (National Institute of Discovery Science). The material we have is mainly a two-part article written by George Knapp, the well-known Las Vegas newsman and UFO investigator.

  Knapp is one of the very few people who have been allowed to set foot on said property, which was formerly owned by a couple named Terry and Gwen Sherman. (They usually go by the pseudonym Gorman, for some reason.) The Shermans sold the property to Bigelow for a hefty price, mainly because of the endless paranormal events that have allegedly occurred there in recent years.

  Indian legends are involved in all this - the so-called Skinwalker, or Shape Shifter, which can supposedly change its form at will. This is shockingly similar to parapsychologist George Hansen's concept of the Trickster, though we are not claiming that Hansen either invented that term or that he participates in said Tricks!

  On the "ghost ranch" there are animal mutilations, UFOs, creatures not found in any zoo or textbook, and bizarre psychic manifestations that cannot be put into any known category. We would call the whole mess 3 1/2-D - which of course explains nothing!

  One of our favorite yarns from this 27-pager is the incident that occurred the very day the Shermans moved onto the ranch. It might be called The Case of the Bullet-proof Wolf. Sure enough, an apparently tame wolf appeared, but it soon went after a calf in a nearby corral. Sherman eventually shot the wolf at point-blank range with a .357 Magnum, with no apparent effect. Altogether he pumped six shots into the animal, but all it did was casually trot away across a field. Egads!

• The National Academy of Sciences, through its publishing arm, the National Academy Press, has just come out with a book cleverly titled "Quantum Leaps in the Wrong Direction". It is said to have significant implications for UFO research. We'd love to see a review of this (as we don't expect to actually read it). We understand that a review is already available on the (cursed) Net, which is a vice we don't indulge in. Maybe some kindly Smear reader will pass it along to us...

• On the weekend following November 15th, the first annual Mothman convention was held in the little town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, on the Ohio River. There, in 1967, a series of weird paranormal occurrences convinced some of the townsfolk of that era that they were under some sort of psychic siege. For some reason the Mothman and related sightings came to an abrupt halt on December 15th, 1967, after the Silver Bridge over the Ohio River collapsed semi-mysteriously, killing about 45 people and injuring many others. All this has been chronicled in the fictionalized recent movie "The Mothman Prophecies" and in the 1975 book of the same name written by the infamous John Keel.

  The article we read goes on to discuss other towns that have turned a local legend into fast bucks from tourists. The most successful has been Roswell, N.M., but other lesser-known annual conventions commemorate the alleged 1948 Aztec, N.M. saucer landing; "Bigfoot"; and even the Lake Champlain, N.Y. monster known as Champ - who is a rival to the much more famous Loch Ness Monster of Scotland. Even McMinnville, Oregon, gets into the act, because of two famous still photos taken there in 1950 by a farmer named Paul Trent & his wife.

  Your "Smear" editor will be speaking this coming March at the annual bash sponsored by the local library in Aztec, N.M. Be there!...

• A form letter from Dr. Frank Stranges' wife Julie informs us that both she and her aging husband are not doing well on the gross physical plane of existence. Doc Stranges has a persistent infection since his last operation, and may have to undergo another one. As many of you know, the good Doctor has been around the saucer scene since the 1950s, and is one of the most unforgettable characters described in our Book, "Shockingly Close to the Truth!" We wish him and his wife well...

• We aren't much into anything admitted to be science fiction, as we get more than enough of it in the UFO field. However, we were going to try to watch the sci-fi channel's recent ten-part series on UFO abductions, called "Taken", which is said to have achieved unbelievably high ratings.

  Unfortunately, we were turned off by the very first episode of "Taken", which fictionalized the Roswell Incident badly, and in a different way than the way it was fictionalized in the supposedly factual November 25th, 2002 documentary that showed on the same network.

  In "Taken", the "cover story" given out by the Military is that a top-secret Mogul Balloon has crashed, whereas they know that it was really a spaceship full of aliens. The trouble here is that the term "Mogul Balloon" was, in reality, not known by the public till the 1990s!

  With so much looseness about the facts, it is little wonder that those who would really like to know the truth about Roswell are still hopelessly confused, and probably will remain confused indefinitely - unless, of course, they are fortunate enough to read Karl Pflock's 2001 book "Roswell: Inconvenient Facts and the Will to Believe"...

• A physicist named Ronald Mallett at the University of Connecticut is one of many scientists around the world who thinks he knows how to build a real-life time machine. Unlike other physicists who have pondered the subject, this 57-year-old professor has built an actual machine which he believes can transport anything - from a subatomic particle to a human eing - from one time frame to another. In reading the body of this article, however, we clearly see that the machine is much more likely to work for the particle than for the human. An opponent of his ideas stated: "This is about trying to amass all the matter in the universe into a very small region. Good luck!"...

• For the past several months, Lou Farish's "UFO Newsclipping Service" has included a large section of translations from Argentine newspapers, concerning a fantastic, long-enduring series of animal mutilations in that South American country. There are even a few UFOs thrown into the pot, and at least one mysterious small green dwarf. All this is far too much for our humble format, but if interested, write to: #2 Caney Valley IM., Plumerville, Arkansas 72127. This zine costs a hefty $5 per monthly issue, and freeloaders are not welcome...

• Frequently in the December issue of "Smear" we make a few remarks in remembrance of our late ufological friend Gray Barker, who died in December, 1984. Sometimes we forget to do this, as occurred in the December 2002 issue.

  Sadly, in just a very few more years we won't remember anything, because we will have joined Barker at that Great UFO Landing Field in the Sky!...

• Lastly - the Raelian cult, which we have discussed several times before, believes that life on earth was created 25,000 years ago by super-intelligent space aliens, and they are now stating that the world's first human clone will be born from one of their female followers right around Christmas time. The founder of the cult, which believes in (slurp, drool!) free love, is a former magazine editor who in 1973 revealed that he had encountered green-skinned beings from another planet while taking a hike in the mountains. The group has a strange headquarters in Quebec, Canada. There, the sect operates a sort of space alien theme park called UFOland in the town of Valcourt, Quebec.

  The claim regarding the first human clone has been met with skepticism from serious biological researchers, and also a great amount of disgust, as it is generally considered immoral to create human clones. But the Raelians do have money and competent scientists. A laboratory in West Virginia, USA, was forced to close about two years ago after our government warned them that experiments in human cloning would not be allowed.

  Actually, we kind of hope that the Raelians' claim turns out to be true!

• Famed social philosopher Robert Anton ("Bob") Wilson has kindly sent us an autographed copy of his latest tome, called "TSOG: The Thing that Ate the Constitution". Bob, whom we have corresponded with for many years (but never met), has written endless books of wit and satire, though he is actually only on the outer fringes of the UFO movement. His latest effort has little to say about UFOs, but much to say about his unhappiness with the state of freedom in this country. He was already dissatisfied under the regime of Bill Clinton, and thus even more so under Herr George W. in this dreary post-9/ll era.

  You will never guess what "TSOG" stands for, so we will have to tell you: It's The Tsarist Occupation Government, i.e., supposedly the government we have now. "Smear" tries (not always successfully) to avoid politics in our printed ravings, as the flying saucer subject is divisive enough all by itself. Yet we can't avoid the subject completely, and we strongly suggest that you rush $16.95 (plus postage) to New Falcoln Publications, Tempe, Arizona, U.S.A., Earth!...

• Next we have another in the seemingly endless series of booklets published by Rick & Carol Hilberg of Ohio's United Aerial Phenomena Agency (UAPA). This time Rick has been inspired by a theory propounded by "Smear's" esteemed Contributing Editor, to the effect that the "real" space visitors started buzzing Earth in the early 1940s and moved on to other pursuits by the early 1970s. An intriguing theory indeed, since there has been no major "flap" since 1973.

  On the other hand, there are many, including Rick Hilberg, who believe that the UFO phenomenon is still with us as much as ever. He believes that the apparent scarcity of good sightings is partly because UFO investigators are becoming too lazy to investigate; and it is also partly because of the (cursed) Internet.

  In any case, the title of the new volume is "A Ufological Snapshot: 1980-1981". Whereas many of the sightings related therein are run-of-the-mill, some do indeed give food for thought - such as an incident in which a Kentucky housewife saw a nearly-landed craft only about fifty feet away from her, in the yard. She described various details, and a little later her husband also saw the object as it moved around at crazy angles, at a greater distance away. Of course there's no proof, other than these people's word. But that's the way it almost always is in this frustrating world of seemingly unprovable flying saucers! There are 34 large pages of this sort of thing in Rick's book, which sells for a mere $8.00 and can be obtained by writing to: UAPA, 377 Race St., Berea, Ohio 44017. Say Jim sent you!

It looks like I may have been wrong about Col. William H. "Butch" Blanchard, commander of Roswell Army Air Field, when, back in 1947, the saucer didn't hit the fan nearby.

Maybe Blanchard didn't order the release of the (in)famous "We've got a flying saucer" press announcement without authorization from higher authority (see my book "Roswell: Inconvenient Facts and the Will to Believe"). Maybe it was some other loose cannon who jumped the gun, putting Blanchard and his superiors on the spot.

Kevin Randle's recent revelations about the late Frank Kaufmann, his star Roswell witness, not only demolish what little was left of Kaufmann's credibility. They also call into question the claims of another key witness: Walter Haut.

In July 1947, then first lieutenant and RAAF public relations officer Haut issued the fateful news to the local media. Over the years, he consistently, believably, and repeatedly has claimed Blanchard dictated the announcement to him and ordered its release. While there are important inconsistencies between what Haut says he did thereafter and the memories of others about what he actually did (see my 'Roswell'), there seemed little reason to doubt him on this. No longer.

According to Randle, who deserves kudos for following the inconvenient facts where they led, "Walter Haut told us (Randle and his erstwhile partner Don Schmitt) that Frank (Kaufmann) was someone we needed to interview. Later Haut suggested that anything Frank told us could be believed." Now, thanks to Kevin and, ahem, Yours Truly, we know it was fool's gold.

Haut, not only a member of the base headquarters staff but also a trusted personal confidant of Blanchard's, was in a position to know what happened and who was involved in the "crashed-saucer" affair. He knows that Kaufmann, a base personnel clerk, wasn't a player. He must have known this when he told Randle and Schmitt that Kaufmann was a "must" interview. So why would he promote the guy and his tall tales to the two saucer sleuths?

Now this comment by 1947 RAAF intelligence boss Major Jesse Marcel during his December 8th, 1979, interview with reporter and ufologist Bob Pratt no longer seems a minor memory hiccup: "(W)e had an eager-beaver public relations officer (Haut) - he found out about it (the saucer "crash-retrieval") - he calls AP about it. Then that's when it really hit the fan..." (See the verbatim interview transcript in "Roswell", p. 228.)

Oops! Once again I've run up against our editor's stingy Space limitations. To be continued next "Smear".

• DR. GARY POSNER of the dreaded Tampa Bay (Florida) Skeptics organization writes as follows and sends us the pictures below, which hopefully will print well enough to make sense:
  

  We've Been Viewing The "Face" On Mars Upside Down!

  "The far-left image is the latest, most high-resolution photo yet of the 'Face' on Mars, taken in April 2001. It looks the least face-like of all the NASA photos of this landform - unless you turn it upside down (middle).

  "Now you can see what the architects of this mile-wide monument really intended to convey! In the far-right version, I have separated the two halves of the monument and sketched in some outlines for clarity. The left half of the sculpture is definitely a human being in profile, holding another entity. I'm not certain whether the 2nd entity is a hmman fetus or an alien 'gray' But either way, the message is quite profound!..."

  Gary then goes on to turn the "Face" 65 degrees counter-clockwise for 'more revelations, but we think you have already gotten the gist of his thinking! - Editor.

• Famed UFO personality STANTON FRIEDMAN, who unfortunately has no doctorate, writes:

  "... (in the December 2002 'Smear') we have an anonymous PU (Prominent ufologist) attacking Jerome Clark and myself. The PU claims, speaking of me, 'Until he got into Roswell, about all he ever did was lecture to college kids and UFO cons'. That last word suggests a science fiction personality. PU should have looked in the 1968 (long before Roswell) Congressional UFO Symposium Proceedings. On page 220, for example, is a list of the many places where I had spoken...And yes, I have spoken at more MUFON Conferences than anyone else. Obviously PU hasn't, as with most Anonymous critics, done his or her homework!

  "What is this nonsense about my trying to take over the Betty and Barney Hill case? A pre-emptive strike with Marjorie Fish's work?? ABSURD! I had spent 3+ hours with Betty and Barney in November 1968, three months before Barney's death. I was called by Coral Lorenzon of APRO to ask if I could help Marjorie. I called her, arranged to visit her during a tour, helped arrange a session in Chicago with Allen Hynek at which Dave Saunders and I both attended. I helped prepare a Submission about her work to the Blue Ribbon UFO Panel. Bobble Ann Slate and I did indeed publish the first article about her work, in Saga Magazine. I helped MF explain her presentation at the Akron MUFON Conference and was thanked by Marjorie and by Mimi Hynek for so doing. I convinced Terence Dickinson, then editor of 'Astronomy' Magazine, to write his article about her work, corrected some mistakes, and later made sure she was aware of some of the criticisms being made so she could respond in a timely fashion. I have done more than anyone else to spread the word about Marjorie's excellent work and to back up the Hill case...

  "I was also called by Universal Studios (referal by the USAF, of all people) to serve as a consultant on the NBC movie about the Hill case, 'The UFO Incident' with James Earl Jones, and appeared on Tom Snyder with Betty to help promote that movie. Betty and Marjorie are both featured in my video 'UFOs ARE Real'. I dug into the false claim by Alan Hendry that one of the two Base stars was a double, and kept Marge informed. Of course, along the way I did meet with John Fuller, spoke with Dr. Simon, viewed Fuller's papers at the Boston U. Archives, and on hundreds of occasions discussed the case and the star map work.

  "So I haven't investigated a case? I guess visits to Parkersburg, WV, to talk to Woodrow Derenberger (long before John Keel) don't count. I guess my visit to Delphos, Kansas, and my subsequent arrangement for the first soil tests on soil from there don't count. My visits to 19 archives checking out documents re MJ-12, newspapers re Roswell, facts re Menzel etc. ad nauseum don't count! My 108 page 'Final Report on Operation Majestic 12' doesn't count. My coauthored book 'Crash at Corona' and my book 'TOP SECRET/MAJIC' don't count. My discussions with families of MJ-12 members don't count; my showing that some of the Tim Cooper documents are fraudulent doesn't count; my UFO investigations here in New Brunswick (Canada) don't count. My publications in 'Physics Today' and 'Aeronautics' and 'Astronautics' don't count. The immense amounts of time and money I have spent on Roswell don't count! That I have given more than 600 college lectures does mot matter, nor my 100 pieces on UFOs for KFI Radio in L.A., my taking on Phil Klass on many occasions, including Nightline, doesn't count. Winning a debate on UFOs at Oxford University doesn't count...

  "In short then, Mr. PU really doesn't know what he is talking about. But then being anonymous, he can't be held accountable. I am truly glad he didn't provide his truly valuable insights to the people at the UFO Magazine of Great Britain before they awarded me their first ever Lifetime Achievement Award at the 21st Annual Leeds International UFO Conference this past September..."

• DR. BRUCE MACCABEE of ufological fame writes as follows:

  "I read your book. I found it quite amusing and illuminating, save for one chapter which, in my opinion, is Shockingly Far from the Truth. I was particularly interested in the stories about the people who were active in the 1950s, before my 'UFO' time. (I read Ruppelt's book in the middle '50s but didn't take an active interest until the later half of the '60s.) It is too bad your 1950's book was not published in the late '50s or '60s. The information contained therein would have had even more importance at that time, and by now it would have been a classic. Better late than never, I guess.

  "Of course I was surprised to see my own entry into your tale as 'the piano man'. I provided entertainment at tee 1999 MUFON Symposium, as I had at the symposium two years earlier..."

  We tried to get our book out in the 1950s, but no suck luck! We fear that the book chapter Dr. Bruce didn't like is the one about Ed Walters & Gulf Breeze, a matter on which Bruce and your editor disagree fundamentally! - Editor.

• Abduction researcher DR. LEO SPRINKLE writes:

  "Congratulations to you on the various reviews of your book, and kudos for the photo of the Bevy of Beauties in the most recent issue of 'Smear'. Is the blonde really that talL, or is she merely levitating?

  "Happy Holiday Season!..."

• The inevitable MILLER JOHNSON of Intergalactic Truth Seekers Foundation Limited, writes as follows:

  "About thirty-five minutes into the program ('The Roswell Crash: Startling New Evidence') Dr. Jesse Marcel appeared, holding a symbol-laden aluminum I-Beam for the Sci-Fi camera. Bryant Gumble followed up with the statement, 'Jesse Marcel Jr. commissioned an "Artist" to recreate the I-Beam'. I, the Industrial Designer (referred to as Artist) received NO commission from Dr. Marcel, or anyone else for that matter. My only intention from the beginning was to create a three-dimensional I-Beam, accurate in physical dimensions and graphic symbol color, to display at the International UFO Museum in Roswell.

  "Kent Jeffrey, who is a Delta Airlines pilot and Roswell Researcher, paid the billing for four (milled to specifications) aluminum I-Beams on the East Coast. Kent then shipped the four to me in Albuquerque. It was my responsibility to design and apply the lavender symbols with Dr. Marcel's approval. These original four are now in the hands of: (1) The International UFO Museum; (2) Dr. Jesse Marcel Jr; (3) Kent Jeffrey; and (4) Miller Johnson. Some say I should invoice the Sci-Fi channel and Bryant Gumble!

  "Another thing worth mentioning: Even if David Rudiak's computer enhancement of General Ramey's hand-held message is correct, in my humble opinion it still proves nothing! The 'smoking gun' has all the impact of a fourth grader's pea shooter!

  "And what will become of the 66 bags of dirt lifted from the 'Foster Ranch Debris Field'? They could be used for kitty litter, but most felines today prefer a higher quality of litter box digs. Probably the Sci-Fi channel will eventually present a sequel titled 'The Roswell Crash: MORE Startling New Evidence'. Last but not least, one could sell the dirt debris as 'Genuine Crash Site Dirt', package 5 grams of dirt in thousands of mini polybags, add a clever label, and market the product to Gullible Ufoologists and True Believers the world over!

  "Keep an eye on the DIRTBAGS!"

  Miller Johnson has kindly sent one of these quaint little bags to us! - Editor.

• MIKE GENSLER, author bf the article about Flatwoods, W.Va. in our November 2002 issue, writes:

  "...I recently finished your book and I found it fascinating, funny, and very refreshing. Whereas most UFO books resemble sales pitches or religious scams, 'Shockingly' lingers long and lovingly over the human element behind the UFO phenomenon. Though it is obviously written to amuse and (maybe) enlighten, for my money it has more academic value than any other UFO book on the market. Good job, sir, and I look forward to your next volume..."

  Hopefully our book on Peruvian treasure hunting will be out late this year (2003). - Ed.

• Researcher JEAN MISNER writes:

  "Your book was absolutely delicious! I enjoyed it so very very much. It brought back memories of the afternoon I spent with George Adamski and the evening I spent with George Hunt Williamson and his friends..."

• DICK Freeman, editor of a semi-porn zine called "Batteries Not Included" (513 N. Central Ave., Fairborn, Ohio 45324) writes:

  "Dear Sly Dog:

  "I suppose you'll try to tell me that you were not aware that the Roswell girl at the left of the photo in your December issue is Debbie D., infamous Scream Queen and (hopefully) a reader of 'Batteries Not Included'. How curious that you should meet Ms. D. while doing investigative work!..."

• "Ray X" writes as follows:

  "...You referred to me as the mysterious 'Boxholder'. To set the record straight, my name is Ray, full name Ray X. I ask people to correspond with me by using the word 'Boxholder' in my address. It seems that the best way to receive mail at my P.O. box is to designate Boxholder as the addressee. Occupant or Resident also work. Use a 'normal' name and problems arise. It's just my way of dealing with the mail-sorting robots at the local post office..."

  To receive Ray's interesting little zine, write to: Boxholder, P.0. Box 2, Plattsburgh, N.Y. 12901. - Editor.

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