Saucer Smear

OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF THE SAUCER & UNEXPLAINED CELESTIAL EVENTS RESEARCH SOCIETY
EDITOR AND STILL
SUPREME COMMANDER:
James W. Moseley

CONTRIBUTING EDITOR:
Karl T. Pflock

NON-SCHEDULED
NEWSLETTER
Volume 49, No. 3
April 1st, 2002
(April Fool's Day)

MAILING ADDRESS:
P. 0. Box 1709
Key West, FL 33041


MOTHMAN MOVIE SOARS BEYOND MEDIOCRITY!

Your editor was pleasantly (as in Point Pleasant!) surprised when he finally was able to see "The Mothman Prophecies". This was in Miami, as the film was never shown in Key West, for some reason. We found the theatre on the very last night of the film's run, and the title had already been taken off the marquee - strangely enough!

We have never had the pleasure of reading John Keel's book, and can only assume that the movie is a wildly loose interpretation thereof. However, it is good science fiction, and a welcome change from most science fiction movies. Even when the continuity gets rather garbled, this only adds to the atmosphere of mystery and confusion, and tends to make the film better rather than worse.

The aim of the movie is to convince us that we cannot always trust our own senses, and that there are forces around us that we simply don't understand. We'll drink to that!

Then there are the weird subtle elements: The hero is named John Klein, which is remarkably similar to John Keel. There is also a Dr. Leek, which is Keel spelled backwards! The number of people who died in the 1967 Silver Bridge disaster is deliberately misstated, as is the date of that incident; and the entity who keeps making crazy phone calls is named Ingrid Cold.

There was indeed an Ingrid Cold in ufological lore, but this was an entirely separate incident involving an alleged spaceman who landed near a highway in West Virginia around the same time as the Mothman sightings, and it involved a human named Woodrow Derenberger, who wrote, a book about his personal adventure with the Unknown.

Although John Keel and your editor have not chosen to speak to each other for quite a few years, we say again that we are glad that the producers of this film were decent enough to give him a payoff for using his book as the basis for their story. We understand that it took some legal pressure for Keel to accomplish this goal. In the end, Keel made out a lot better financially than the late J. Allen Hynek, who was screwed to the wall by the producers of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" - which was a chapter title in one of Hynek's books.

As for the small germ of Truth behind the "Mothman" science fiction - yes, there were sightings of a mysterious winged creature in West Virginia in 1966-1967. (Wisely, the movie does not attempt to show exactly what this alleged bird looked like. This adds to the mystery.) And yes, there was the collapse of the Silver Bridge, which we can only assume was unrelated. As for the paranormal things that supposedly happened to Keel during his real-life investigation, some may well have been hoaxes perpetrated by our long departed mutual friend Gray Barker. There is no way we will ever know for sure, at this late date. However, Barker did write a book in 1970 called "The Silver Bridge", which touches on the same topics as Keel wrote about five years later in "The Mothman Prophecies".

There are things in this world that we are not likely to ever understand. UFOs constitute one category. "Mothman" constitutes another category, far less widely known but equally interesting ....

Mothman actually has a Web address, and it is that of "Criminal Records" (see ad above), which is a store located on Main Street in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. We visited there last year, with Tom Benson, Antonio Huneeus and others. The other day we phoned the guys at "Criminal Records", and as expected, they report a big increase in business in recent weeks. People from all over the U.S. and various other parts of the world have been visiting, even though the movie was not filmed there...And, there has been much silliness. Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman, author of a current book about Mothman, reports that someone (or some thing?) is pretending to be him, on the Net and in person. Fake people such as this are known as "doppelgangers". There were various such incidents in the late 1960s, some of which are now known to have been hoaxes. (See our book for more information on the madness of that era!)


UPDATE ON CONVENTIONS AND "SHOCKINGLY CLOSE TO THE TRUTH!"

On the first weekend of April, your humble "Smear" editor will be lecturing at the "UnConvention" in London, England, substituting for Karl Pflock. (This is an annual event sponsored by England's prestigious "Fortean Times". ) We had hoped to have "Shockingly" with us, but alas, it won't be out till a couple of weeks later. For those of you who have kindly pre-paid for the book, fear not! We still have your dough, and will mail out your copies comfortably before the end of April, at the latest!

Now, regarding this year's glorious National UFO Conference (NUFOC), to be held in Cincinnati, Ohio on September 28th: The exact location is the Kings Island Inn Conference and Convention Center. On hand will be noted UFO researcher Kenny Young, this year's local host. The big news is that the Master of Ceremonies will be Bill Boshears, host of "The Sci Zone" radio show on 700 WLW ("The Big One"), heard in 38 states. Also scheduled are Karl Pflock, Peter Davenport, Steven Bassett, John Timmerman, Jerry Black, and of course your above-mentioned "Smear" editor. Other speakers will be added to the list in the near future. You can contact Kenny Young on the (cursed) Net, or by phone at: 859-371-7955 or 513-588-4548. His address is: 3903 Hunters Glen Drive, Florence, Kentucky 41042.


F**K CENSORSHIP!

We have never actually met New Age philosopher Robert Anton ("Bob") Wilson in the physical body, but through correspondence over a period of quite a few years, we have come to know each other quite well. "Bob" was even kind enough to write a favorable "blurb" for the jacket of "Shockingly Close to the Truth!" The best part of this was his Fee, which was zero.

Anyhow, "Bob" is now in Big Trouble with the Prophets Conference, an apparently wealthy outfit which holds 3 or 4 high-class conventions each year in various parts of the U.S. & elsewhere. The group is based in Hawaii. Since the Prophets (Profits??) charge attendees through the nose, they presumably pay their speakers well. "Bob" has spoken at several of their con-claves, but when we attended one such conference in Santa Fe a couple of years ago, hoping to finally meet him, he was not there because of illness, "Bob's" trouble is that he placed on his website a highly profane quote from a current Spike Lee movie called "Jungle Fever" We would quote it here, but after all this is a Family Newsletter (maybe). Said the Prophets, in part: "The opening lines of your web page are an example of why we have discontinued presenting your work. Even though you are quoting Spike Lee and leading to a significant point, we were set back by the above-mentioned introduction."

"Bob" lives from lecture fees and book royalties, so, although this is a Moral Victory for him it is not a Financial Triumph. All we can say is - F**K CENSORSHIP!

To learn more, turn to mark@cruzio.com. See also "Bob's" brief letter to "Smear" about this matter - further along in this issue.


NEWS BRIEFIES (formerly TIDBITS OF TRASH)


Pflock Ptalk - UFOs? YES! SAUCERS? NO!(PART 5 OF "THEY WERE HERE...")

by Karl Pflock, Our Contributing Editor & Fifth Columnist

Last "Smear", my friend and High Official of the Fund for UFO Research Rob Swiatek wrote, "I must confess I find your fifth columnist's recent... articles most puzzling. What's all this frippery about UFOs leaving in the '70s? When I read this, I about jumped out of my Fund...running shorts! His odd speculations might have merit but for the fact that UFOs continue to be seen! There were several excellent cases in the '80s and '90s that puzzled a whole lot of us..."

Earth to Rob: I didn't say UFOs have gone away. I said flying saucers have gone away. We still have UFOs - and would-be UFOs - with us, but the otherworldly craft and critters that once contributed to the UFO count have split, or so it seems to me - and to no less a personage than Kevin Randle (see "Smear", Nov. 1st, 2001). I've been explaining why I think so since I started this series ("Smear", Aug. 4th, 2001).

I'm not sure which "excellent cases" Rob has in mind as he jogs along in his Official FUFOR Running Shorts - and, no doubt, the Official FUFOR Wrap-Around Rose-Colored Glasses - but I certainly haven't heard of any. (Care to offer up a few, Rob?) All the latter-day cases I've seen touted as "excellent" and "puzzling" and involving reports of machine-like objects or such objects with associated flesh & blood (of whatever color) beings, certainly haven't ranked high on the strangeness-probability index (ref. Hynek's "The UFO Experience") - the strange ones being far from probable, and the probable ones being far from strange, or, rather, far from unearthly (e.g., I know what the big black triangles are, and they aren't from another planet/dimension/universe. Don't ask. If I told you, I'd have to force you to listen repeatedly to a Walt Andrus lecture!)

The types of objects sighted during the Golden Age of Saucers, their behavior, their purposefulness revealed by the patterns of their activity, etc., are no more, and haven't been for at least 30 years. What the data now suggest is a cargo-cult-like hangover, aided and abetted by the popular media, the dreaded internet, and a cadre of ufological hucksters and true believers - whose messages are falling on fewer and fewer ever-more-bored ears!

Welcome to the Ufological Dark Age, Rob. Better pull up your shorts, take off the rose-colored glasses, and hunt for The Answer to The UFO Mystery in the historical data. That's where the saucers are.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
We never tamper with Karl's Sacred Text (above), but this time we want to chime in with an additional thought. July of this year will be the fiftieth anniversary of the biggest UFO "flap" of all times. In July, 1952, over 1,500 cases were reported to the Air Force's Project Blue Book - far more than in any other month in history. No one will ever know how many other important cases were not reported. There were sightings by airline pilots, plus the famous anomalous radar blips over Washington, D.C., and a host of other horrors. If the Space People bother to keep track of our earthly months and years, maybe they will make a comeback very soon. Or, maybe they won't. As George Adamski often said, TIME WILL TELL!


BRIEF BIASED BOOK REVIEWS

"UFO Politics at the White House" (sub-title: "Citizens Rally 'round Jimmy Carter's Promise") is an exercise in prose by Larry Bryant, the tenacious, pugnacious firebrand of the group called Citizens Against UFO Secrecy (CAUS). The book consists mainly of UFOoriented letters written to the White House by ordinary citizens.

The premise here is that while Jimmy Carter was Governor of Georgia, he actually saw a flying saucer and officially reported the sighting to NICAP, which was Major Keyhoe's long-defunct UFO research organization in Washington, D.C. Most reasonable ufologists now believe that Governor Carter was misled by a sighting of the planet Venus, which can be a scary-looking object under the right atmospheric conditions.

On February 6th, 1977, Larry Bryant himself wrote a long letter to then-President Carter, reminding him of his campaign promise to "release to the public all heretofore unreleased files, reports, and other data on the federal government's role in the investigation of sightings of unidentified flying objects". Alas, young Larry never received a personal reply from the President. Instead, he received a self-serving form letter from one Colonel L.E. Seminare Jr., USAF, who answered "on behalf of President Carter". We all know the feeling of frustration & disgust when a high official pays no attention at all to our pet project.

In 1977 Larry was already a veteran trouble-maker in UFO research, in spite of his job as a civilian employee of the U.S. Army. He retired in 1994, and since then he has had more time & energy than ever before, to devote to his obsessive hobby.

This self-published book is one of the results.

What can we say? Our view is that the Government probably knows little more about real UFOs than we do, but of course we could be wrong about this. Mavericks like Larry Bryant are needed, to keep the kettle boiling and to keep the water running under the dam (as Tim Beckley might say).

Our (free) copy of "UFO Politics at the White House" is signed by the author, with a note stating that the solution to the UFO Mystery can be found on Page 317. Amazingly, the solution is on Page 317, but you will have to buy the book to read it. (We don't want to spoil this for you!) Write to the Invisible College Press, P.O. Box 209, Woodbridge, Virginia 22194.


MISSIVES FROM THE MASSES:


French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of Non-Existence of God.

The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God. Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, espondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe. This is only one of several Psy-Ops operations mounted by the Allies to undermine the unswerving religious fanaticism that fuels the Taliban's fighting spirit.

Pentagon sources have recently confirmed rumours that America has already sent in a 200-foot-tall robot Jesus, which roams the Taliban front lines glowing eerily and shooting flames out of its fingers while saying, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. Follow me or die!"


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